Easy Cinnamon Rolls

Having searched and searched for a tasty cinnamon roll recipe that doesn't require (1) a bread machine, (2) a stand mixer with a dough hook, and (3) oodles of time, I stumbled across the perfect recipe in a little recipe book in Ely, MN. Simple, tasty, and effective. A must.

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups water
• 2 packages yeast
• 2 eggs
• 1 yellow cake mix
• 5 1/2 - 6 cups flour
• 3 Tbsp butter, melted
• 1/4 C brown sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon

Instructions

1. Mix water, yeast, eggs, cake mix, and flour in the above order. Knead well. Let stand until the dough doubles in size. Dough should be lightly sticky but pliable.a
2. On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough to 1/4 inch thickness. Spread with meltedbutter, sugar, and cinnamon. 
3. Roll up dough and cut into 1" slices. Place onto a greased baking sheet.
4. Bake at 350 degrees until golden brown, 12-14 minutes.
5. Serve warm!

The rolled dough on the left, with buns ready for the oven on the right.

Results

Oh boy, were these tasty. You can never go wrong with brown sugar and dough, and these were no exception. I cut them about twice as large as they should have been, so we ended up with some pretty monstrous rolls. But tasty nonetheless. Will definitely make again.

Huge! Tasty! Sugar! Butter!

Peanut Butter Sriracha Cookies

Not a full fledged recipe post today, just a pointer to an excellent recipe from another fun food blogger. Just four words:

Peanut Butter Sriracha Cookies by The Sugar Pixie

Results

Any recipe that involves this as a step can't be bad, can it? Apparently no, it can't.

Mike and I just refill this bottle from the 55 gallon drum we keep out back.

The original recipe didn't seem quite Sriracha-y enough, so in goes more Sriracha! You can't possibly go wrong.

It's like the caramel ripple of the Sriracha world.

 They come out looking like regular old peanut butter cookies, so it's wise to put out a warning sign for your guests and friends. We had more than one person surprised by the spice, but less than one person unhappy with the switch.

Yum.

Crab Rangoon

Tasty, hot, sweet, salty. Cream cheese. Crab. Wanton skins. Fried. What's not to like. Let's get to it.

Ingredients

• 4 oz. cream cheese
• 4 oz fresh crab meat, or imitation crab, dried and flaked
• 1/2 tsp soy sauce
• 1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 tsp Sriracha rooster sauce
• 1 green onion, finely chopped
• 1 large garlic clove, peeled, and mashed
• Approx 20 wanton wrappers (square)
• 1 small bowl of water
• Oil for deep frying

Directions

1. Combine cream cheese, crab, soy sauce, Worcestershire, sriracha, green onion, and garlic in a small bowl. Mix well.



Feel free to add more soy or Sriracha if you like a saltier or spicier rangoon.

2. Lay out one or two wanton wrappers on a cutting board. Cover remaining wrappers with a damp paper towel and work with only one or two wrappers at a time to avoid drying. (Dry wrappers neither fold nor dry well.)
3. Place one teaspoon of the crab and cream cheese mixture in the center of each wrapper. With two fingertips, moisten all four sides of the wrapper, then fold in half to form a triangular rangoon. Press the edges together well.



Do not overfill your rangoon! They will leak and make you sad.

4. Set completed rangoons under another damp paper towel until all the rangoon are finished, to avoid drying.
5. Heat oil in a deep pan, wok, or deep fryer, to approx 365 degrees. 
6. Carefully add the rangoon to oil. Do not overfill - allow enough room for the rangoon to cook separately and fully.
7. Cook until light golden brown, approximately three minutes. If using a pan or wok, turn the rangoon over after 90 seconds. Remove from the oil with tongs or a slotted spoon, and drain on paper towels. Serve warm with sweet and sour sauce or sweet chili sauce.

Results

Metal skewers make good mixing and flipping instruments, especially if you're using a deep fryer.

What's not to like?? A few words to the wise - don't undercook these suckers. They will be limp, and hard to eat. But it's hard to overcook them, so if you're unsure, leave them in a bonus 30 seconds.

Also, be sure to seal all your edges carefully! You'll know right away if you have a leak by the little floating cream cheese noodles that start coagulating on your rangoon.

If you remove your wounded rangoon before the cream cheese has time to burn, you can have a perfectly delicious inside-out rangoon experience

Crab Rangoon are the perfect party finger food, but like any fried food, they're best served hot and fresh. If you do have to make them in advance, keep them hot in the over at 200 degrees until it's time to serve.

Sweet chili sauce is really the way to go with these. You can find it at any Asian supermarket. It's hot, it's sweet, it's excellent. Just like these puppies. Om.

Homemade Flour Tortillas

After a day's worth of experimentation leading up to an evening with some Chicken Fajitas and Mango salsa, I finally ran across a fresh tortilla recipe that left the product crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, flavorful, and saved well. Worth making, and pretty easy. Just don't overcook them!

Ingredients

• Two cups all-purpose clour
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 1/2 tsp vegetable oil
• 3/4 cups warm milk
• 2 tbsp Crisco

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, mix together flour, baking powder, salt, and oil.
2. Slowly whisk in the warm milk and Crisco, until a loose, sticky dough forms.
3. Turn dough out onto a floured surface. Kneed 2-3 minutes. Add additional flour if dough with not cohere.
4. Cover dough with a damp cloth for 20-30 minutes.
5. Break dough into eight pieces, roll each into a bowl, and recover with a damp cloth for an additional 10 minutes.
6. Roll out each ball into an 8" diameter circle, keeping them moist by covering them with a wet cloth until cooked. Or simply roll the balls out one by one as you're ready to cook them.
7. Cook each tortilla in a dry skillet over high heat for approximately 30 seconds per side.
8. Eat warm! Microwave with a damp paper towel to bring them back if they cool or dry.

Results

After the sad, over-crisp first draft of a butter-based tortilla, these held up to time and food really well. They were both flavorful and soft, with enough gumption to stand up to the juicy fajitas without falling apart. And oh so simple. I'll be making these again.

New England Clam Chowder

This week is pretty grey and dreary in Chicago, and what goes better with clouds, fog, and missing California than New England Clam Chowder?

One undeniable fact is that there are just as many clam chowders in the world as there are clam chowder lovers, and twice as many opinions about what makes the best chowder a cut above the dissenting heretical recipes. Some use salt pork to pre-flavor the pot and and veggies. Others prefer straight bacon. Some use potato starch or arrowroot as thickeners, some used smashed potatoes, and some use use flour and cream. Which variety of clams to use, which spices to use (bay leaves? thyme? black or white pepper? What about parsley?), the authenticity of this or that type of potato or the acceptability of celery: a veritable cornucopia of choices.

As a first-time chowder-maker, I tried to put together a straightforward clam chowder with no fancy moves, something that I could be proud of and couldn't mess up too badly.

Ingredients

• 3 cans clams (minced or diced, see Side Note below)
• 1 bottle clam juice (8 oz)
• 3 oz salt pork, finely diced
• 4 medium sized redskin potatos
• 3 tbsp unsalted butter
• 1 cup finely chopped celery
• 1/2 large yellow onion, finely chopped
• 6 springs fresh thyme leaves (removed from stalks)
• 1/2 tbsp bay leaves
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1/4 tsp black pepper
• 1/2 tsp Salt
• 1/3 cup chopped chives or green onions
• 4-6 tbsp thickening starch (in this case, corn starch. See Results below.)

Directions

1. In a large soup pot, render salt pork over medium-high heat until just crisp. Remove pork bits from the pot and discard, leaving pork fat in the pot.
2. Reduce heat to medium-low. Saute yellow onion in the pork fat until translucent and delicious looking.
3. Reduce heat to low. Add butter, bay leaf, thyme, and garlic, and cook 3-5 minutes until thyme is wilted. Remove bay leaf.
4. Add potatoes, celery, juice from the canned clams, and bottled clam juice, adding additional hot water as necessary to cover vegetables. Bring liquid to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 20-30 minutes until the potatoes are soft and broth is slightly thickened. Optionally, smash some of the larger potato chunks against the side of the pot with a wooden spoon to give create additional thickness.



Look at all those delicious veggies, ready to be smothered in clam juice and cream.

5. Stir in cream, green onions, salt, and pepper. Simmer and stir a few minutes until thickened somewhat.
6. In a small bowl, make a rue of thickening starch and cold water, stirring until all clumps are dissolved. Stir rue into chowder, mixing thoroughly.
7. Remove from heat. Fold in clams. Serve warm immediately, preferably with warm sourdough bread.

Side Note: Canned Clams and Clam Juice

On their own, the words "clam juice" are a little alarming. What is clam juice? Do clams even have juice? How does one juice a clam? Is a juice press appropriate?

No, no it is not.

Clam Juice is essentially clam broth - the liquid leftover after one steams clams. For those of us not bothering to steam our own clams (or not wanting to shell out for fresh clams in the Midwest), clam juice is just a bottled version of the same. It tastes vaguely of shellfish and clam, and it fairly high in sodium. So that's one mystery solved.

The second question: what's the different between the "chopped" and "minced" varieties of canned clams you see on the shelf? These seem to be the two levels of chopped-ness that clams come in, across brands.

So what's the difference? As far as I can see, not a darn thing:

Minced on the left, chopped on the right. And not a lick of difference between them.

Same quantity of clam, same density of clam, same bell curve of clam-piece sizes with the same standard deviation and amplitude. So really, get either chopped or minced, because at least to Bumblebee Seafood, they mean the same thing.

Results

This hit the spot right on. Really, with cream, clams, saute'd onions, and veggies, how can you go wrong? The salt pork added a lot of flavor (well, fat) without turning this into a bacon chowder. The onions came out soft and delicious, and though I don't often have celery in my clam chowder, I really enjoyed the crunch it gave the final creation. We ate it with a loaf of no-knead bread (more on that later), which was fresh, hot, and great with chowder. Next goal? Homemade bread bowls.

So much flavor and texture in every bite!

The one major change I'd make next time would be to change up the starch used to thicken things up a bit at the end. The chowder left a little bit of a mealy texture in one's mouth, which I think has to do with using corn starch, as it has a tendency to coagulate into clumps under heat. Not that this was exposed to an extreme amount of heat, but for the sake of texture, a starch experiment may need to be in order.

Mike's in the middle of saying "Soooo good!"

Mango Cilantro Salsa

This recipe was born out of necessity: I had planned to make a strawberry cilantro salsa to go with the Slow Cooker Chicken Fajitas from a previous post. But alas - the strawberries in my fridge had gone bad, and were beginning to mold! Thankfully, mangoes were 58 cents at Jewel that day, and a little improvisation gave birth to this yummy topping, which sports a nice blend of sweet, spicy, tangy, and salty flavors.

Ingredients

• Flesh of 1 large, ripe mango, coarsely chopped
• 1/2 red or green bell pepper, chopped
• 1 green onion, diced
• 2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, finely diced
• 1 fresh jalapeño, with seeds removed, finely diced
• Juice of 1 fresh lime (approx 2 tbsp)
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• Salt

Directions

1. In a medium sized bowl, combine mango, pepper, green onion, cilantro,  jalapeño, lime juice, lemon juice, and a generous pinch of salt. Mix well.
2. Cover with Saran wrap and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving. (Will keep up to 48 hours in the fridge).

And that's it!

Results

The cornucopia of flavors in this simple salsa balanced the umami and spice of the chicken fajitas very nicely. And the chilled salsa was a nice contrast to the warm meat, just out of the slow cooker. I wouldn't change a thing, except that if I were making this to consume with chips instead of using them as a topping, I cut the mango and pepper small enough to be easily scoop-able. As it was, there was no salsa left over after dinner anyway!

Slow Cooker Chicken Fajitas

A simple, tasty slow cooker recipe (aren't they all?) that comes out with all the flavor of slow-roasted Mexican chicken and the tenderness of carnitas.

Ingredients

• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, halved
• 1/2 jar (8 oz.) medium salsa
• 1/4 cup tomato sauce
• 3 cloves fresh garlic, minced
• 1 small red onion, coarse chopped
• 1/2 small white onion, coarse chopped
• 1/2 green pepper, coarse chopped
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1 1/2 tsp chili powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 fresh cracked black pepper.

Directions

1. Place the chicken breasts in the bottom of a slow cooker. Pour salsa and tomato sauce on top. Add onions, garlic, pepper, cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper. Set cooker to low, and cook until chicken is tender and pulls apart easily, 4-6 hours, stirring every couple hours. Shred the chicken, and return to cooker on low for another 1/2 hour before serving.

(Yes, there's only one step)

Results

Myself, my roommate, and his girlfriend at this with fresh, homemade tortillas, mango cilantro salsa , and shredded sharp cheddar with Spanish rice on the side.

Chicken Fajitas are a  balanced part of this completely mouth-watering dinner.

The look on Mike's face as he digs in says it all. It was delicious.

There's so much room for experimentation in this recipe, it hardly qualifies as unique. Adding more bell peppers, sliced hot peppers, ancho spices, or fresh tomatoes would be tasty, as would varying the mix of spices: perhaps some cayenne or paprika for those who like it hot? Or a little liquid smoke for some of that barbequed goodness? So simple, so tasty.

Hungarian Cinnamon Bread (Kalacs)

Having made a couple savory dishes in the past couple weeks, it seemed time to make a sweeter dish, but having made cookies recently as well (and, truly, many many times before that), the time seemed right to try out a new, sweet baked bread recipe. I give you Kalacs, a Hungarian cinnamon bread:

Ingredients

For the Dough:

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 cup bread flour
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 1 tsp salt salt
• 1 package dry active yeast (1/4 oz)
• 1 egg
• 1/4 cup melted butter
• 1 1/4 cup hot milk (110 degrees or so)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract (imitation or regular)

For the Filling:

• Melted butter for brushing (about 2 tablespoons)
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tbsp cocoa powder
• 1 tsp light brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• 3 tbsp semi-sweet chocolate chips, finely chopped

Directions

1. In a small bowl, combine hot milk and yeast package. Allow to proof 5-8 minutes, or until a light froth is visible on the surface of the milk.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together egg, melted butter, vanilla extract, and milk and yeast mixture. In a separate bowl, combine flours, white sugar, and salt.
3. Add the dry mix to the wet ingridents and kneed well until an elastic dough is formed, approx 4-5 minutes. Add up to 1/4 cup additional all-purpose flour if necessary to get the dough to cohere.
4. Place the dough in a greased bowl, cover, and set in a warm place to rise until the dough doubles in bulk, approx 1 1/2 hours.
5. While the dough is rising, prepare the filling. In a small bowl, combine 1/4 quarter cup brown sugar and 1/2 tsp cinnamon, and mix well. In a separate bowl, combine remaining brown sugar and cinnamon, cocoa powder, brown sugar, vanilla, and chopped chocolate chips, and mix well.
6. Punch down the dough, divide into two equal pieces, and roll each into a long rectangle, approx 8" by 15", on a well-floured surface. Brush each rectangle with melted butter. Sprinkle each with one of the prepared filling mixtures.
7. Firmly roll each rectangle into a log, pinch the ends closed, and place into individual greased loaf-pans. Cover, and allow to rise in a warm place approx. 1/2 hour.
8. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
9. Brush the tops of the loaves with melted butter. Score the tops of the loaves diagonally with a sharp knife. Bake in preheated over until the loaves are golden brown, about 30 minutes. 
10. Turn out onto a cooling sheet. Slice and serve while warm.

When your filling looks this good, you know you're in for a tasty time.

Results

The experimental part of this recipe was the chocolate and cocoa filling - far less traditional than the simple cinnamon sugar mix. Both turned out deliciously, though I would have added more brown-sugar filling to the traditional loaf. These would make an excellent french toast, and have been great in the mornings with a little butter. The traditional loaf is also great with some Olallieberry jam. (Thanks, mom!)

Kalacs with cocoa filling on the left, and traditional cinnamon sugar filling on the right.

Parmesan Crusted Asparagus

What goes better with a delicious cheesy casserole than delicious cheesy veggies? This recipe was incredibly easy and full of flavor.

Ingredients

• 1 pound asparagus spears (thin)
• 1.5 tbsp extra virgin olive out
• 2 ounces shaved Parmesan cheese
• Black pepper to taste
• 1/4 c balsamic vinegar, or to taste

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Lay asparagus on sheet in a single layer. Drizzle olive oil onto asparagus, or brush on with butter brush. Spread Parmesan cheese over asparagus evenly, and sprinkle with black pepper.
3. Bake 12-15 minutes until cheese is melted and asparagus is bright green and slightly crisp. Serve immediately. Spinkle with balsamic vinegar to taste.

The asparagus with Parmesan, ready to go into the over

Results

If you like asparagus, you'll love this simple modification. If you don't, this won't convince you to eat asparagus. It's just that simple. Using shaved Parmesan instead of grated or shredded left the Parmesan in large, tasty continents of cheese, which definitely improved the flavor of the overall dish.

A simple and yummy side. And healthy too!

Corn and Chilis

With a surprise Easter Sunday off of tech, what else was there to do but cook for some friends? No experiments this time, just a classical casserole from my childhood that my parents and our good friend-of-the-family Laura used to make on holidays. It's so simple and delicious - why wasn't I making this all these years??

Corn and Chilis

Ingredients

• 3 cans creamed corn
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp garlic salt (or 3/4 tsp garlic powder and 1/4 tsp Laury's seasoned salt)
• 3/4 cup yellow corn meal
• 5 tbsp cooking oil
• 2 cans Ortega green chilis (diced)
• 12 oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. In a medium sized bowl, mix creamed corn, eggs, garlic salt, corn meal, and cooking oil. Stir well.
3. Pour half of the above batter into a casserole dish or large baking bowl.
4. Sprinkle chilis and cheddar cheese onto the dish.
5. Cover with the remaining batter.
6. Bake until firm, approximately 1 hour. The top may or may not brown a bit, especially if there is exposed cheese. This is normal.

Corn and Chilis, pre-baking

Results

Delicious, tasty, and oh so simple. Between myself and three friends we killed an entire pan of Corn and Chilis in under half an hour, and that was in additional to raspberries and Parmesan asparagus (more on that later). Will definitely be making this again. I coooked it about 55 minutes until it had just started to brown around the edges, but in the future I might leave it another 10 or 15 minutes to let it firm up a little more on top. 

Molly has a secret: it's how good this casserole is.

Childhood tastes so, so good.

Baking Experiment: Bailey's Irish Cream Cookies

Another experimental recipe, but this time, I'm writing the entry after preparing, baking, and eating the food. Trust me on this one, y'all, remember that this was an experimental recipe, and that you should read all the way to the end to get all the juicy tidbits and results.

The Recipe

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 egg yolk
• 2 whole eggs
• 3/4 cup Irish Cream liqueur (i.e. Baileys)
• 1/4 cup butterscotch schnapps
• 4 cups all-purpose flour

Directions

1. Cream together butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in vanilla, egg yolk, and egg until combined, then beat in egg; beat until smooth. Add Irish Cream and schnapps, and mix until incorporated.
2. Sift flour into the mixture. Stir well until evenly mixed.
3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
4. Scoop the dough (which should be fairly soft and sticky) into a piping bag. (In a pinch, a gallon sized ziplock with the tip cut off will work. Consider reinforcing the tip with gaff or duct tape.) Pipe into flatted fingers or wavy shapes, keeping the cookies fairly flat to ensure even cooking, onto a greased cookie sheet or parchment paper.



The piping bag can be a mess, but it does make it easy to make a variety of interesting shapes.

5. Bake 8-10 minutes (or 16-18 minutes, see below). Remove to cooling rack to set afterward.

Some possible shapes: squiggly snakes and flat fingers.

The Results

These cookies as baked were a bit of a let-down. They didn't have a whole lot of flavor, and you definitely couldn't pick out anything that distinctively said "Baileys!"

Cruising the internet, it became clear that most variants of this recipe include two more ingredients than I do: salt, presumably for flavor, and baking powder. Baking powder! Of course. Definitely would have helped these cookies be a little less spongy and more crisp, like sugar cookies should be. The snake-shapes especially (that you can see in the above picture) were pretty moist in the middle, and not that flavorful. For the later trays that went in the over, I shifted to the flatter finger shapes and even flattened circles, in an effort to get more consistent cooking.

The flatter cookies baked more evenly and avoided the cakey texture that the snakes had.

At this point my roommate and his girlfriend came home, and lost as I was in their delightful friendship, I left a batch of circles in the oven for over 17 minutes. I assumed they'd be a lost cause, but they actually came out crisper and tastier than any of the other batches. I left the remaining batches in for about the same amount of time, and they too were delicious.

Even with the overbaking, the cookies were still a little bland. These really being sugar cookies, it would have been nice to throw some icing on them, but without powdered sugar, I didn't feel I could make a solid and sturdy enough icing to hold up to the hardness of the cookie.

Schnapps and brown sugar to the rescue! I brushed each cookie with a little more butterscotch schnapps, pressed a generous pinch of brown sugar on top, then brushed more schnapps over the top and let them dry. These made a sugary crisp topping that really added to the flavor of the cookie. If I'd have had cinnamon, I think cinnamon-sugar would have worked as well, but might have disguised this as a typical snickerdoodle, instead of a sugary butterscotch cookie.

The butter brush: no longer just for butter. The emergency cookie fix made quite a mess, but it was worth it.

Next Time

Add salt and baking powder. Ditch the piping bag - a lot of mess for not that much added value or taste. Bake a solid 12 minutes at least. Add icing. Clearly, these cookies are begging for a second baking.

Pizza Experiment: Spicy Kielbasa and Onion

Fair warning, y'all: this recipe is written exactly as it was prepared. It is in the oven at the time of writing, and is therefore an untested experimental recipe. I make no claims for its tastiness or success at this point in the post. See the results section below for the conclusion on this pizza..

Tonight's pizza experiment: a pizza with a little more zip and spice than the traditional cheese, and a crust that (hopefully) gives a heartier and richer experiments than a plain white-flour variant. Tonight's pizza is the spicy kielbasa and onion.

Ingredients:

The Dough

• 1/4 oz active dry yeast (1 package)
• 1 cup warm water (100+ degrees)
• 2 cups bread flour
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 tsp cajun spice seasoning
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 tsp white sugar

The Sauce

• 6 oz jarred pizza sauce (Ragu or your favorite)
• 1/4 tsp Sriracha (Rooster) sauce

The Toppings

• 1 regular kielbasa sausage
• 3-4 oz shredded mozzarella cheese
• 2 tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/2 small sweet onion
• 1/2 tsp butter
• Louisiana-style hot sauce

Directions:

1. In a small bowl, dissolve the yeast in the warm water. Let stand until creamy or foamy looking, about 8-10 minutes.
2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
3. In a large metal bowl, combine the bread flour, garlic powder, chili powder, cayenne pepper, cajun spice, olive oil, salt, sugar, and the yeast-water mixture. Mix and kneed well until a stiff (fairly dry) dough is formed. Cover and let rise in a warm place until the dough has doubled in volume and is puffy to the touch.
• For best results, fill a large pot with more hot water, and float the metal bowl of dough in it, covering the combination with a dish towel or two. This will keep the dough warm and help the yeast to rise.
4. While the dough is rising, cut the Kielbasa into small circles (~1/8" thick). Fry in a pan with 1/2 tsp. butter until slightly blackened around the edges and noticeably crispy. Remove from pan and drain on paper towels. Toss in a small bowl with a generous splash of Louisiana-style hot sauce.
5. Section the sweet onion into medium-size chunks.
6. Mix the pizza sauce and Sriracha in a small bowl. (DO NOT attempt to mix the sauces together on the pizza itself: it will result a normally-sauced pizza with pockets of fiery mania.)
7. Place the rough on a well-floured surface. Form the dough into a round, then transfer to a pizza pan. (In a pinch, a cookie tray will do. Especially if you like rectangular pizza!)
8. Spread sauce liberally over pizza. Apply kielbasa and onion evenly around the pizza surface, then sprinkle Parmesan and mozzarella over the top.
9. Bake until crust is golden brown and slightly crispy, 18-20 minutes.
10. Let cool a couple minutes before slicing, eating, and enjoying.

Pizza topped with lucious goodness, pre-cheese. Note the orange tint of the crust due to the chili powder.

You can never have too much cheese on a pizza.

Results:

Really, you can't go wrong with kielbasa and onions on pizza. That's just a fact. They look and taste juicy and delicious no matter what else you throw at them.

Baked 19 minutes to a slightly soft crust.

What's surprising is how much the spiciness of both the Louisiana hot sauce and the Sriracha deteriorates when you expose them to heat. Anyone who's ever tried cooking with Sriracha knows that after just a few minutes on the burner, it looses a serious amount of its firepower. But the piquant flavor of the Sriracha and the spicy creole taste of the hot sauce live on in the sauce and kielbasa respectively, and were noble additions to the flavor of this pizza.

Next Time?

I would definitely try to punch up the spicy quotient of this pizza. Some more cayenne in the crust, more hot sauce on the kielbasa. Though even now, five minutes after finishing a slice, my mouth has a pleasant tingle to it. Not a spicy, painful tingle, but the satisfying afterglow of spices doing their job.